We all have those days when everything feels daunting. The system you’ve built is starting to crumble again. Sometimes, it feels like falling without a parachute or anything to catch you below. This week, I felt like a mouse in a trap.
My dopamine levels have dipped below the norm. I’ve found myself binging K-dramas and anime. Doom scrolling on TikTok. Watching YouTube content without paying attention. It feels like I’m on the edge of depression all over again. Systems have crumbled. Productivity disappears. Motivation evaporates into thin air.
I’ve piled so much on my plate that I didn’t even notice I’m running myself into the ground again. I’ve picked up my vape more times than usual. I’m stressing out about finances and finding ways to generate income. Though it’s been a rough week, I’m still learning, and I’m still writing.
As long as I continue showing up not for myself, but for my readers, everything will be okay. If you’re struggling right now, keep showing up. Keep writing. Keep creating. Allow the worries of daily life to fade completely; things will work out in due time.
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What I’ve Learned & Projects
Because of my procrastination and low levels of dopamine, I haven't done as much studying as I should. I’m learning to be less critical of myself and listen to what my body needs. I’m learning to be kind and rest when I need to. Which, unfortunately, means that sometimes, some days, I will have to take a break from studying. Resting and doing nothing for once, then hopping back into it with a refreshed mind and a rested body.
And that’s exactly what I did. I jumped back in and continued where I left off. Because of that, I was able to finish Introduction to Storytelling. I’m filled with excitement! Now I have the knowledge to start writing short stories. I’ve been thinking about it all week. What I want to write, what genre it’d be in. I have a great idea! I want to write a collection of short stories. Each story will feature different characters from the same world. Of course, they do not know each other's existence.
I’ve also swapped out Intro to Film and Editing for Intro to Photography. I want to make sure I have the right equipment to film and edit videos. I'm a hands-on learner. I learn best by filming and editing videos myself. This approach helps me absorb what I'm learning. This also means that the projects get swapped as well. I won’t be working on the Autumn Vignettes mini-series. Instead, I’ll focus on creating a photography portfolio.
The final course I worked on was Intro to Classic Literature. This week, I learned how to write a literary analysis. This will help me write detailed book reviews and literary essays a little later in the season. Alongside that, I’ve been reading Pride & Prejudice. I thought I’d be able to finish it by the end of the month. But it’s best to read with care and comprehension rather than consume it for mere entertainment. My slow reading allows me to annotate, highlight, and mark up my books as much as I’d like.
Next Week’s Lineup
For the final part of this post, I want to provide a concise overview for you, my dear readers, of the lineup for next week. The final installment of the Archive of Becoming will come out between 6:00 PM and 8:00 PM on Monday. I will publish the fourth recap of my Autumn Curriculum at 12 PM on Saturday.
Archive of Becoming is the title of the post and mini-series. It summarizes the last three parts. Also, it gives tips to keep your momentum going. In the Autumn Weekly Recap, I’ll share my progress in Intro to Classic Literature and Photography. As well as the usual project updates.
The decision on the post for Thursday is still pending. I’m stuck between ideas at the moment, but my hope is to start drafting it by Monday or Tuesday. I will be editing it on Wednesday. Timely posting of content is important to me. I’ve worked on schedules my whole life. Critical and high-priority tasks have a specific time for completion. If it’s not started by a specific time, I begin to spiral.
A very bad habit, I’ll admit. There are a lot of things I’m working on. I can’t help some of them because of how my upbringing has shaped me. Time is everything to me. It’s also irrelevant because life enjoys seeing me scramble to keep things in order. Learning to loosen my control over my life is another lesson. But no one said the ride would be easy. Life gets hard; what matters is how we choose to react to it and what we’ll do after.
To all my dear readers and writers, remember to take breaks. Take a break from writing that novel. Go on a hiatus for a bit from blogging. Your health is as important as your works of art. You can’t expect them to be good if you are running yourself into the ground. Rest with complete assurance, free from concern about consequences.
Your intuition is so sharp. I literally just did the market research for your brand and procrastination due to lack of clarity on a goal was the main painpoint. Love every bit of this!