Can We Stop Criticizing Others Decisions?
These days, social media allows everyone to be in everyone’s business. Acting as an open door for harsh criticisms towards a certain thought, decision, or belief. Child bearing is one of many things I see questioned a lot on social media. So what if a woman chooses not to have kids early in life. So what if a woman does. Is it truly that big a deal to not contribute to society in that way?
Truthfully, I don’t want children until I’m at least 30 and financially stable. There’d be some who would understands and sympathize with me, then there are others who would condem my decision to remain child-free in my twoentie’s.
Those women, more often single mothers, appear to be offended by the decision of another woman. In turn, they attack with harsh words, manipulation, and accusations. But the women before us fought hard to have the right to bodily autonomy and to make our own decisions.
So, why are we challenging another woman’s life choices?
There are two main reasons a woman chooses not to bear kids. Some have various medical reasons as to why they are unable to. While others, such as myself, simply choose to wait or not have kids at all.
Women are more susceptible to health issues — though men are likely to experience fatal health problems. And these difficulties would, basically, disable the feature of child bearing. There are several common problems that most women experience: ovarian disorders, endometriosis, urinary fibroids, blocked fallopian tubes, premature ovarian insufficiency, etc. Some experience these as early as adolescence, while others experiences these later in life.
But those aren’t the only health concerns that can hinder a woman’s ability to have kids.
Most women don’t know this, but our mental health can also impose on our ability to bring forth life. Having high levels of stress, anxiety, and depression are some of the biggest inhibitors a woman can experience. It’s hardly a conversation point in safe spaces nor researched enough to know how mental health affects child bearing abilities.
Which is an issue — and a big one at that. The two topics are usually separated due to the lack of acknowledgement or sufficient research.
But a woman can choose to simple not have kids, regardless of the status of her health — should she have any.
That choice alone is a freedom modern women now have, thanks to our foremothers that fought for it. I, like many women, have looked at the current and previous economic state of the US. For those living outside the US that haven’t caught a glimpse of it, it’s not pretty nor stable at all.
Because of that, it’s difficult to support and raise a child as a single mother. Basic necessities, such as diapers, formula, clothes, gear, etc., have shot through the roof in the recent years. Roughly 20% since the beginning of 2025.
But what if the woman just doesn’t want kids?
What if she wants to live a care-free life traveling the world?
What if she wants to spend her time building a stable career or business?
Should she be criticized for valuing her own happiness instead of keeping the birth rate high? No. No, she should not be scrutinized for choosing herself. In hindsight, the typical man will choose himself and his happiness over that of the life he’s intentionally or unintentionally built with a woman. The government will choose itself, and sacrifice the people, for the sake of money, war, and the illusion of peace.
But the woman is the only creature not allowed to choose herself. Because may god forbid a woman be happy on her own! Her choice, be it consciously or subconsciously, should be hers and hers alone. She should not be damned like a sinner in church. She should not be excommunicated because she can’t or chooses not to bear life. Growing another human being is a grueling process with a 50/50 chance of survival for the mother or the infant.
With a multitude of physical and mental health concerns the plagues the woman and her right to bodily autonomy, she should not be looked over by those unhappy with their situation. The choices one makes is not the concern nor responsibility of another.
If you chose to lay down and conceive life, that is your choice and your choice alone. If you chose to travel, build a business, or simply can’t, that is fine. Neither side of the same coin should think less of the other without understanding and compassion.
This is my first opinion essay on a topic I see discussed a lot on social media. I welcome any criticisms, praise, and personal thoughts. If you’ve enjoyed reading this, please consider subscribing to get the latest opinion and research essay. Share this with a friend you think would enjoy this. Thanks for reading!